WHY MEN SHOULD KNOW WHAT WOMEN WANT.
By Felix Nyerhovwo Jarikre.

'You know why I don't bother, and I think having sex with you is a drag? Because you are selfish. Next time, if you are going to take the trouble to demand for sex, please take the time to work on satisfying me. Don't deny I'm your wife, but perish the thought I exist solely for your pleasure.'
Her anger and impatience were visible. He was taken aback, caught almost speechless. His limp penis was a pitiable picture of perplexity.
Richard (not his real name) managed to blurt, 'But I'm always the one making the first moves for sex. You don't even show for one day that you want sex. All the signal you give is lack of interest in sex.'
Still vexed, Rachel (not her real name) replied, 'Yes, I'm not interested because you don't make it interesting. I come home from work, near exhaustion. I manage to cook food for you and the children. Next thing, you want sex. I give in because I don't want trouble. But all you think about is your self-satisfaction. And you expect me to clap that you are a champion racer, fast on the mark, fast to finish? Puulease! Don't you ever take me again through the drama and trauma of leaving me unsatisfied, sexually while you ease into your snoring!'
Richard's usual smugness had evaporated. His sexual appetite faded. But his eyes were pleading as if to signal his unpreparedness toward his wife's angry outbursts.
'What do you want from me?' He asked.
'Respect,' she replied. 'I'm not asking you to love me. That seems to be so hard for you. Just treat me with respect, and a sense of gratitude. I have three healthy, beautiful children for you. I work for my money. I don't need you to put clothes on my back, or make my hair. There's zero communication between us. The only time you recognize I exist in this house is when you want sex or food. I'm quitting your game; I'm not ready to play again.'

This pathetic but revealing scenario plays out in many homes today. The undercurrents of hostility, apathy and perplexity between husbands and wives is best left to imagination, rather than experienced. Some couples have even settled into a cold routine of neglect and disdain between themselves. The only times they are aroused to talk to themselves with little animation are when children's school fees or materials come up for settlement, or a child's birthday is due; or a child falls sick, and needs to be hospitalized on emergency.
Some husbands no longer find their wives sexually exciting: keeping 'side chicks' is no longer frowned upon, but treated with inevitable tolerance. Not to be outdone, some wives step out with vengeance, ready to play game with any man they are attracted to.
Some women, unable to handle or tolerate their husbands' infidelities, seethe with rage and hatred. As they play with murder in their hearts. Now and then, it's no longer strange to find the social media awash with gory tale of a woman turned berserk with her husband's unfaithfulness. Overstretched with playing the meek and patient wife, she had unexpectedly turned into a flaming object of vengeful fire. She stabbed and hacked her husband to death with a kitchen knife.

Perhaps you don't find this frightening and sad enough to raise questions. Take the case of a pastor's wife, affluent, influential, educated and beautiful, who openly divorced her famous husband because she could no longer tolerate his 'adulterous ways and sexual infidelities' with women.
The fact that divorce was supposedly frowned upon or forbidden by her religion wasn't enough to deter her. Her husband whom she had come to detest was humongously wealthy. He is a preacher of international renown. His virility was not in doubt. She had children for him. Why would a woman want to leave aside such piles of money and mammoth influence because of her husband's sexual infidelities?
Some would say it takes great courage and sense of worth to take such a rare step. They well might be right. What's undeniable: hell hath no fury like a woman scorned!

Many women are traumatized and misunderstood by their men. Some men are frightened by the idea of having to listen to the hearts of their women. It dredges up a feeling of inadequacy they are uncomfortable with. They don't think they have adequate resources to cope with what their women are demanding. Taking a flight from the possibility of having a meaningful dialogue with their women is a negative proposition they are seduced by. Have men ever thought their lives will become more enriched, strengthened and satisfying when they open up to the deep yearnings of their women? When men are not  threatened by how their women feel, but rather take responsibility for bringing these feelings to a point of resolution, that can be very empowering. It's frustrating when a woman represses her feelings, or let them hang because she has no hope of fulfilment.

Life is hard and tragic because men fail to know what their women want. Life is precarious, sometimes despairing, almost meaningless because men don't consider it a worthy enterprise to understand how women feel.
Every woman wants to feel protected and secure in her relationship or marriage. And she craves to be understood  by her man. For a healthy relationship, good communication comes before sex. While no normal person can question how finance can oil a romance, or run a relationship, it has never been proved practically that more money can purchase a woman's satisfaction or contentment.
What are her fears, her doubts, her guilts, her motivations? A man cannot afford  to be neglectful of these emotions that weave their ways through her; or pretend they don't exist. He can't afford to think it's a waste of time trying to understand why his woman feels the way she does.

Why do some women feel marriage is a dull ache they have learned to endure? They feel unappreciated and devalued. Instead of seeing marriage as a place where they can express themselves authentically with boldness and confidence, having to walk on egg shells around their husbands becomes a safe option, unsure of what offend or please the men. Some choose to have a relationship with the husband's money if they cannot have a relationship with the men at the heart level.
For some, marriage is a slave camp; for others, marriage is a prison.

If you know you cannot upgrade your thinking to the level where you can celebrate a woman's intelligence, her sagacity, her beauty and her glory, don't get involved with her in a social relationship, talkless of a sexual one.
The wholeness between husband and wife together can only be realised by the man internalizing and communicating the woman's interests. If that's so - and there is nothing in the Bible to contradict that assertion - you have a crisis or calamity in your hand when a man pretends to ignore what his woman wants.

We must learn to place good conscience forefront in our marriages and relationships.
Conscience has to do with the development of our character.
Your conscience instead of your shape or body is the personification of your character...

An excerpt from my upcoming book, WHY MEN SHOULD  KNOW WHAT WOMEN WANT.
Strictly Copyrighted.  Not for sharing. 🔥🔥🔥.
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